your eyes turned transparent and suddenly
suddenly I saw your lie, suddenly
I think, well
I think I cried for a day at least
moaning to my friends oh god
I loved her you know I really did
I really died, I really tried
to make it hurt less, paid less for
the painkillers, the pain killed her self
esteem turn off your fucking television
I want to kill every nigger, faggot, and Jew
that doesn’t understand that just
drowns in their self pity, self imposed
misery, you shot the gun, you gave him head,
you cut the skin it’s your fault your loss of
fucking dignity cry, cry, cry
crying until my tears stop drying
crying until my tears turn into
liquor and I drink myself drunk
everything that’s right is wrong and
nothing that’s wrong is right please
I can’t think straight just keep
talking your voice is a narcotic
and it makes me realize I don’t really feel these feelings
and none of these things ever happened to me
no not really not really in the sense that
they didn’t make me feel like shit sorry
so sorry, I’m sorry that I’m sorry
Sarah, you have to forgive me
it’s been over a year but I still
think about you everyday, every hour of
every day, and you consume me
Sarah, look in my eyes
I swear I’ll do anything for you
anything for a hug or a kiss
anything to feel you inside
and make you love me again
Sarah, you’re the only girl for me
I’ll kill myself before I let you go
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
mhmm. very controversal, and sometimes incorhent, but the basic message certainly shined through loud and clear the entire time. it creeped me out a bit, i must come to admit, espicially since my name is Sarah, too. it shows pain, and i suppose the only flaws were because you were so overcome by emotion. it was a hard poem to tackle - no line breaks, no punctuation, medium length. despite the strong feelings, it did not strike me with professionalism or any level of public worth, but personally this could be worth millions. because it is this type of poetry that is life.
Is it wrong that I loved this?... I should try it without the loud music and pay a little more attention, but I just.... liked it....
Ok I really gotta learn to crit work properly.